Thursday, December 23, 2010

2010 Nadine du Toit A Grateful Heart

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Rubber Tutu

Have you ever been in a space egg before or worn a rubber tutu before?
I don't even like sci-fi movies, but I think I was in one today!

Here's what happened at the Hypoxi Treatment center today:

As I arrived, I was greeted by name and the lovely ladies (Mel and Jean) made me feel so welcome! I met my therapist, Sheila, who by the way is a qualified physiotherapist.
I was given a health disclaimer to fill out as well as a physical assessment, which included a body stats analysis and specific body measurements. Sheila made her 'diagnosis' and allocated me to a program specific for my goals and areas of development... do these ever go away?

According to the assessment I'm 'perfect' for the average person... HA! But we know, dear friends, that our aim is not to be normal, it is to be exceptional and the best that we can be!

The fun part, bring on the rubber tutu!:
After Sheila explained and showed me diagrams of how the treatment works and what to expect, she placed a heart rate monitor around my chest and took out, what seemed to me, like a giant rubber tutu!
This was such a cute moment! Me pointing my hands into the opening, as if I'm diving into a giant giggle creating hoop and Sheila trying to fit this bigger than life tutu around my waist... she did an expert job, though! This was definitely an ice breaking party trick to remember!

Introduction of the 'space egg'!:
As my hips, thighs and bum areas are my stubbornly voluptuous side, I was shown to the Hypoxi S120 machine, as this machine will be more effective for the extra fleshies on the derrière.
I climb in and put my feet on the peddles of the upright bike on the inside of it. Sheila then clipped me in and closed the 'space egg' around me, she explained that my heart rate and the RPM should stay between certain numbers. And so I started a low intensity cardio session, 30 minutes of cycling.

The science project; Heat, Vacuum, Compression:
While cycling, I experienced a slight warming of the machine which was not uncomfortable at all. After the warm up of 4 minutes a very interesting sucking or vacuuming action started to happen for about 20 to 25 seconds. The rubber tutu was pulling down and tight around my waist, almost like when you wring out a wet towel, still this was not uncomfortable.
After the vacuuming stopped, the compression started and the rubber tutu blew up around me like when you jump into the swimming pool with your dress on! So amazingly funny! Also for around 20-25 secs.
This sequence of vacuuming and compression repeated itself for the remainder of the time inside the space egg.

I worked up a light sweat and couldn't help but think that this is any cardio queen's dream. The intensity is low enough that you can read your fave glossy or even catch the latest episode of Gossip Girl on the big screens of the center.

I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised by the following:
  • All the therapists at the Hypoxi treatment centre are either qualified physiotherapists, nurses or pharmacists.
  • This treatment program focuses on a naturally healthy and balanced nutrition plan, which means that their and GloryGirl's principles are very similar. Me like!
  • This is definitely NOT a QUICK FIX, as you have to invest time, money and sweat to make this work.
  • If you do not follow the Hypoxi Rules, then a successful outcome can't be guaranteed. (I will post on this later on). AND I LOVE THIS! Because even if someone is looking for a quick fix, by following the rules, they will actually be educated on how to make nutrition and exercise a priority for life and a life style change.
  • I loved the alien sense of the vacuuming/compressing rubber tutu.
Maybe I'll watch a Star Wars movie now!...hehe

Please don't forget to tell me what your goals are, as I still believe that everyBody needs a someBody!


Sunday, December 19, 2010

How to Gain Fat Fast!

True to my nature I'm embarking on a new journey and making myself quite vulnerable in bringing you the real deal of what goes on in the world of women, body image and being Nadine...;)

A month has passed since competing in my last bikini competition in Las Vegas, the Fitness America Pageant on the 19th of November...and a lot has happened since then!

Brace yourself for something that sounds like excuses..hehe..
  • We spent a week in pre-Thanks Giving USA and I'm always so curious about the yummies there!
  • We've moved house. No moving company or rental service. Only Riel and myself...
  • I was sick for a week after, I reckon, my immune system crashed a bit.
  • I kicked off my GloryGirl program.
  • We started pre-publication for ExtraFit Magazine, sourcing sponsors and advertising.
  • I'm sick again.
But there is good news!

The lovely Allison Pickford of Body Smart Lifestyle Management invited ExtraFit Magazine to do a review of their Hypoxi Therapy in the launch issue of the Mag in Feb 2011!
So - the enterprising lady that I am - thought I'll volunteer for the Hypoxi therapy sessions and let my fellow sisters know what exactly is this 'quick fix' that we've been so curious about for such a long time...

In preparation to make it worth your entertainment, I took the last two weeks to gain about 4 kg's (8.8lbs) and here is how I did it:
  • Drinking less than 2 liters of water a day.
  • Eat only 3 meals a day (or less).
  • Not planning my meals.
  • Eating starchy carbs at night.
  • Eating whatever I felt like, whenever I wanted. (Read; no processed foods, I'm talking peanut butter and honey by the bucket loads)
  • Training only 3 times a week without purpose or focus.
  • Snacking on choccies when the 'mood' strikes. (Only good quality...Swiss or Belgium)
  • Not having a clear goal.
  • Making excuses of being too busy to make my health a priority...
  • and so the list goes on!
I can't believe that people are CHOOSING to live this way!

So, here's the deal; For the next 6 weeks I'm going to combine my GloryGirl coaching strategies, Cathy Savage Fitness' nutrition and training (my coach and mentor) with the Hypoxi Therapy and BLOG about the good, bad and ugly for you to see that there IS HOPE towards your best body in 2011!

And my goal? Why of course a glamorous GloryGirl Photo Shoot with the uber talented Celeste van Rooyen.

Can't wait to further embarrass myself.... so stay tuned to a GloryGirl success story!


Saturday, December 18, 2010

2010: An unexpected year of adventure and success!

I've been writing so much in my head over the last few months and have been itching to put finger to keyboard! So here I go!

Riel (my husband) and myself did a bit of a reflexion session at our weekly coffee night this week about this year and we were surprised at everything we managed to accomplish.

Grace, grace, grace echoes through my mind and spirit as I remember all the highlights of this year! God's favor is without equivalent and when you pair that with setting powerful goals and creating a plan of how to get there as well as the right people to guide and support you, you just HAVE to be successful!

My year in short:

  • I ended a 6 1/2 year journey with Emirates airlines as a flight attendant!
  • Became a published fitness writer and fitness model for Physique Magazine
  • Started my passion, GloryGirl Fitness where, as a life coach and personal trainer, I coach the most amazing athletes through a life style and body transformation.
  • Invested in an exciting new brand and publication, ExtraFit Magazine. To be launched in Feb 2011!
  • New York and the Arnold Classic in Columbus Ohio with my wonderful husband!
  • Thailand with my lovely sister.
  • Toronto to meet my coaches and support structure, Cathy Savage Fitness to whom I owe all my success in the competitions that I've done.
  • Las Vegas, Grand Canyon and Los Angeles, again with my One.
  • Still happily married to most beautiful man and heart alive!
  • Experience my first ever fitness competition, Ms Fitness South Africa, one of the best in SA and achieved my goal of placing under the top 10! I came 4th against girls 10 years younger than myself!! Love it!
  • Won the Fame South Africa overall title and the professional fitness model category.
  • Placed 2nd at the Fame World Championships in the professional swimsuit model category in Las Vegas.
  • Competed in the fabulous Fitness America Pageant and although I experienced a bit of a burn out (4 comps in 3 months) it was such an enriching experience!

Ladies, I challenge you to WRITE down all the amazing things that you've experienced this year! It really takes that anxious feeling of "the time just flies" down to a grateful prayer!


Thursday, August 19, 2010

Being Shero

I'm inspired!

Lori Harder
I'm blessed to call Lori Harder a friend... my shero!

Always have been, but now I'm inspired to the point where I want to be an inspiration to others.

I want to be a shero..

I want to be on the other side of that glass window, that glass box that we seal so tightly around ourselves and declare:

"Okay, this is who I am now, my comfy place and I'm going to to try to be happy with just being normal. A carbon copy of all the women in all the neighborhoods of the world. I'm okay with all the talents, dreams and goals I've buried and mourned over, because someone else is all ready successful in the field where I had some potential in.... and quite frankly, I just don't have the energy to shine.."


I know I'm not alone in my experience in this mediocre glass-box-living. I got tired of wishing, looking and admiring other ladies being great at what they're great at. I got tired of the desperate disappointment I experienced every time an old year ended swiftly, yet another year where I didn't make the effort to discover and develop my God given talents and potential that wrestles in my being to be explored! Wrestling weaker and weaker as the grain of sand falls upon the head of it's friend...

I know you hear me...come on!

It's time for a new generation of SHEROES to come forth!! Women who explores the passion for a special cause that's rooted in their hearts by the One who created them. Women who reflects their Father's glory and who glorifies Him in their bodies and their spirits as is mentioned in 1 Cor 6:20, because we were bought with a price!

Autobiography time: I'll try to make it quick!

I have forever (20 years count as forever, true?) been gazing and devouring every single Fitness magazine that I could afford, "borrow" (never gave them back, sorry!) or page through at a book shop. Admiring the fit and beautiful looking woman on the covers hoping that someday I might also be the picture of vitality, energy and strength!

I never knew something like fitness modelling existed until I found Oxygen Magazine almost 10 years ago in South Africa of all places!! My heart locked into place. This is me. This is who I want to be!

It lead me onto a path of endless self study, trial and error with a multitude of different training and nutrition programs, fitness books and coaches. I eventually got certified as a personal trainer with a keen interest on the nutritional side of things. As a flight attendant it was always a battle to stay fit in between the jet lag and access to unlimited delicious and exotic food from all over the world. So I always had an excuse for never really getting to that next level, where the physique athletes roam about.

At the end of 2009 my searching lead me to the warm, open arms of Cathy Savage and her team
of awe inspiring coaches and staff. I've been blown away by their generosity of spirit and 100% support and devotion to what my goals are...


I've never been more inspired to break through that glass and be my best at last!

I have got my goal set on being a published fitness model and paving the way open in Dubai and the Middle East for real women to be published in the sport and fitness publications of the ME region. The sheroes who live full lives with families and careers while making their health and fitness a priority.

Another goal (and I'm almost there) is starting up my woman's wellness company, GloryGirl Fitness, where my philosophy is: everyBody needs someBody. Through a process of life coaching, personal training and nutritional counseling I'll guide my clients to explore there infinite potential in all aspects of their lives!

I can do it. I am shero. I'm waiting for you... step up and join the shero-clan...;)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

What Happens Backstage?

It’s 11pm and hubby and I are making our way back to Dubai after watching the spectacular-spectacular Lord of the Dance in Abu Dhabi. I’m wiping the sweat from my forehead as the passionate beads of intensity collected on my skin during this exhibition of diamond cut precision, talent and workmanship.

How easy is it to admire these dancers for this inspiring show they bring to the stage, for us less limber folk to enjoy? Dreamlike and colorful costumes, blazing lights that creates an atmosphere of twinkling magic, the thunderous music that abduct your own heart beat to drum in synch with the swarms of professionally trained butterfly feet so perfect in tune that it absolutely takes your breath away!

When I witness events like these, where talented dancers, creative performers and athletes of all disciplines makes a specialized skill look so easy, I can’t help but think of all the hours, days, weeks, months and years it took to hone and explore their potential in their specific skill.
Like Malcolm Gladwell mentions in his book, Outliers, to become a master of a skill and an expert in your field , you would’ve had to spend a 10 000 dedicated hours in your area of interest.
So if we take this example of a few Irish dancers in a small little show called Lord of the Dance, which lasts about 90 minutes, it really hits you hard to think that they had to invest such a vast part of their lives to taste the glory of those few precious moments when they receive the standing ovation and the encores of the crowds...

Take the cheekiest athlete which also happens to be the fastest on this planet, Usain Bolt. He had the world at his feet in a minuscule time of 9,58 seconds. He is an instant hero and he gains more fans than Madonna (well, she’s actually another great success story too) in that moment. This question I have, where were the millions of fans when he, the Irish dancers and all the other heroes alike woke up on a cold and rainy winters morning to work at, work at and work at their talents, gifts and areas of development?

The temptation to play the “wish game” (oh, I wish I could do that, be like her, live his life, etc.) when we witness the success of our larger than live heroes are very real, but it’s easy to forget the tens of thousands of hours that went into training and preparation that got them on that pedestal, the spotlight and our vote of confidence. Please understand, I know that it’s not about the acknowledgement of other people, but I know that every individual has the deep desire to live a significant life, a life that matters and a life that rocks!
Most of us want the success, but not everybody wants to make the sacrifices and put in the disciplined habits to get to their dreams and wishes…

You hear me…you hear my heart?

Let’s have a look at our OWN back stage. What are we doing to live a significant life? I’m not talking about our faith, which IS the foundation of our whole being here at this present moment. What I’m saying is, what actions are we taking, what habits are we building to get to our life’s purpose? Are we using (use is a verb…no way!) the talents that we’ve been blessed with, in order to live fulfilled lives which in return runs over into the lives of those around us, creating a positive ripple effect in our families and communities?

Be encouraged that it IS possible to dance on your own life stage and to bask in the light and glory of the standing ovation and cheers of your own self esteem and your loved ones. This is the moment to take action to start your first, 500th or 9 999th hour of preparation towards that moment of successful results that you’ve been wishing for so long now!

Let me know how you’re doing, I want to cheer you on in this journey…because Everybody needs Somebody.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

What is your Value? Part 2


I have a Friend.

A number of years ago I was in a lot of trouble, a very dark place. I messed around with the wrong crowd, doing the things that give parents nightmares about their children ever doing. I tried to satisfy every craving that I had, searching for the plug that would fill this hungry hole in my heart. I used people to cover my own insecurities, lied, cheated and competed. I hid in the spotlight looking like the life of the party trying too hard to disguise the lonely wasteland of my dry soul. I hated myself for not being perfect, carrying bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart for those who hurt me when I was a child. My physical body manifested what my soul and spirit looked like on the inside.

Weak and Wild. No peace.

Then I got the news of a Friend, He left me a letter.

He said that he felt so compelled by my self-inflicted suffering that He had to save me from my personal hell. He said He loved me even before I was born, even before the creation of the world. He came to this foreign place to walk in my shoes, live a life of rejection under constant suspicion.

My heart stopped when I read the final sentence... I had to save your life, I could not bear a moment longer for you to live and die in suffering. The only way I could do that was by sacrificing my life for yours. I died for you so that you can have life in abundance.

I read it over and over and over again…

He died for me?

He died for me?

But WHY? I'm not worth your precious life, I don’t even know you!!!! I don’t deserve this, I’m not worthy….I'm just not worthy...

How could you love me so much that you gave your life?

How could you think I'm so special that you died for me?

How could you think I'm so precious, precious enough for you to lose your life?

How could my life have so much value that you paid the highest price?

My denial changed into a severe sadness that threatened to crush my bruised heart, I could just not fathom how an innocent person could choose to die for a wicked and ruined life like mine.

Was I really ever worthy of such a love? How could I be? Am I really that special, that precious and that valuable? So much doubt, how could it be? You loved me so much that the only thing left to do was to sacrifice a life for a life? There is no way, this has to be a faint part of my crazy imagination.

Then came a whisper.

Revelation dawned.

Yes you are worthy of my love and you are that special, precious and valuable. You are the crown of creation and now also my sister, a queen and a priest! You are worthy.




A dry and cracked heart thirstily soaking up the abundance of love pouring in from a never ending river.

So this amazing Friend of mine's name is Jesus and I can't tell you enough of how He sorted out my life, man.

He took me on quite a journey (such an understatement) and it took a looooong time for me to realize how valuable I am. I realized that there is nothing I can do to earn a higher rating of value. I don't have to compensate with second hand habits and self help thoughts to show myself and the world that I might be a someone only to turn around in secret and break myself down with negative and hateful thoughts. I don't have to prove myself anymore or live under the manipulation of addictions of any kind. The only thing I want to do is to belief in my Savior’s perfect love for me.

I am worth far more! I KNOW that. I believe that I'm valuable, because He said so and still do every day.

This all because God loved the world so much that He sent His only son and He says that who ever believes in Him shall have eternal life. John 3:16

Now to come back to the original question.... What is your value, my friend?

PS When I mention the 'wrong crowd', I refer to people who didn't know me or cared about me, people who used me as I used them. Know that my heart is beating with the Father's love for each and every one I've shared a few moments with in the the years that I've been given in our world and home. If you were part of my life during those dark times, please don't feel condemned, I'm not writing this to highlight the past or to hurt you. I'm putting the spotlight on how our God changed this woman's heart and life and how there is hope for a life of freedom and glory with Him! .... please try to see my heart in this...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

What is your Value? Part 1

Part 1:
Let me rephrase the question: What do you think you are worth?

Think about it...

After a few uncomfortable seconds the first answer that shoots from the mouth is; I'm pretty much valuable, thank you!
Good answer, your personal PR skills are excellent and you've been taught well by all the self help literature out there.

Now I say to you; Prove it.

What proof can you give yourself right now that you are worthy of every good and beautiful thing in this life?

Is it being in a relationship (my single friends) that you know is not healthy, breaking you down both emotionally and spiritually. Doing things that you don't want to do and which you know is not right, but you're afraid of losing the person who "loves" you if you don't. Anything is better than being alone, right?

You're worth far more.

Is it getting involved with something at work or in your personal life, even just a little indiscretion on your part - a white lie, gossip behind someones back, a moment of silence where approval was craved by a dry soul - that could risk breaking down your self respect and integrity down the line. Whatever, sticks and stones, right?

You're worth far more.

Is it the continuous negative thoughts that you had this morning in front of the mirror, on your way out, that went something like this; Oh I hate my arms, my big fat stomach, my double chin, my dimply bottom, my unbalanced face etc. I wish I looked like that guy or girl in so and so magazine. If I could have the perfect body, I would be so much happier, right?

You are worth far more.

Is it the unhealthy junk food, cigarette smoke and alcohol which you put into you body, day after day, weekend after weekend, polluting and destroying the most perfect and magnificent being God created. Cutting your years short and securing yourself a future of pain and suffering. Oh seize the day! Life is too short, I can always start fresh tomorrow, right?

You are worth far more.

Is it the grudges, bitterness and unforgiveness that you keep and lodge in your heart towards people who did you wrong. People who hurt you, took your innocence, who betrayed your trust and confidence. It still gives you sleepless nights, makes you want to prove yourself, makes you a 'loner' or an intense competitor. No one can touch me now, they can't hurt me anymore, right?

You are worth far more.

I can go on and on with this list of things that we do in our lives to disprove that we say we are valuable, but I actually have a true story to share... something that happened to me a while ago...

To be continued...

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Get high with me!!

Everybody needs a real great feel-good-moment every now and again.

So we all have a favorite song, movie, television program, magazine or just a pretty perfect place to go (some people just have to look into the mirror, ha-ha!) , anything to feel the warmth those little endorphine bubbles blanket through our veins. The ladies will know exactly what I'm talking about here, right?

Guess what, I've found my endorphine growing jungle too!!
It's the most powerful drug that I've found on the planet so far and it's called the BEFORE picture.... da, da, daaaaaaa!!! (The sound they play in a scary movie, just before the revelation of the big s-c-a-r-y shark, monster or whatever.)

Now for a before picture to be a before picture, there has to be an after picture to equal out this chemistry equation of letting loose those wild endorphin 'thangs'. And it is when you put the two together that the lights goes into strobe mode and you want to really let your hair down and share this high with everyone around you!!

That is how my pair of pictures makes me feel! I want to share this 'drug' (this is a metaphor for any police person reading my 'get high' blog...;)) with everybody around me, because I've tasted the dream AND the reality of finding the perfect balance of this for every action there's a reaction - science stuff! Oh, and I know if someone (you and me included) really, badly wants to achieve their goal, they will give everything they can to make that possible and the results will follow!
Then after the choir in the heavens has ended their Hallelujahs, you will bask in the afterglow of achievement and nothing will stop you of going higher and higher!

Back to my before and after picture!

You can see for yourself now, that I did not always look fit and healthy. I had my fat and flabby moments too and I felt pretty low at times, but man does it feel great to look at this now:

The question is... Do you want to get high with me?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Short Cut to Joy!

Seriously, I think I've found the very secret short cut to joy!
The more I think about it, the more I see the symbolism and direct correlation that this little route to happiness has on our or specifically, my real life! Before I get ahead of myself and loose you completely, let me tell you how I've found this pathway to where the sun shine and the birds sing all day long.

Earlier this evening I was walking back from a friend's home that lives nearby and as it is winter here in Dubai, it gets quite uncomfortably fresh at night (for me, others may not agree), so I was really in a hurry to get to our cozy little home.
I took a short cut through a neighbor's drive way, who's gates are always open and I always walk this way, but I guess he got tired of all the short-cut-takers. As I got closer I saw that the gate was not wide open like the picture I had in my head, but it was closed, so I thought I'll just slide it open and make my way home.
But oh no, giving the gate a good hard yank to try and slide it open and by the shock that went through my arm and elbow joint I discovered a huge chain with an even bigger lock on it that kept my way to coffee and cozy solidly blocked! For a moment or two I experienced emotions ranging from irritation to despair as I visualized how I have to walk all the way around the street block in the cold to reach our warm and inviting home.
I was seconds from throwing in the towel and dragging myself around the block, but then I thought; "I can get over this gate, I've done things like this when I was a kid" and without another blink I started climbing over that gate. Interesting fact, it was dark which kind of camouflages the black gate and all it's nooks and crannies, I've made a considerable amount of noise by trying to yank open the gate, so I had visions of a very angry man running at me with a baseball bat, not to mention the cold that makes every joint in my body move in slow, arthritic motion. So obviously I'm experiencing a moment of panic while I'm on top of this gate, no, not good for the nerves.

But the moment my feet hit the drive way on the other side of the gate, I experienced a feeling of elation and I even felt like giggling (which is so unlike me when I'm alone) for some reason I felt like hopping and skipping the rest of the way home.
I started thinking about how a little act like this - my short cut that almost ended up in frustration, but went over to an impulsive act which created a state of semi panic - could end up in a happy, fun loving skipping-home- Nadine.
And by my amateur analysis of happened in that little incident, I came to the following conclusion:
  • I faced an obstacle, fear (not fear in the sense, but that's the basis of the little emotion that I experienced), doubt.
  • I had a positive thought process of I can do this.
  • I made a decision.
  • I got active and did something I did as a child, climb over fences!
  • I was successful and experienced a feeling of achievement and fun!
I tell my self that this should not be such a huge revelation, but I think in life we need reminders every now and again what it takes to make us happy.

If I could pinpoint the short cut to joy to one thing, it would be to get ACTIVE! When I look at children and see how happy and joyful they always are just to be able to have some space in which they can run and play, it seems so very simple.
When I think of how great and energized I feel after a workout or playing sport, it just seem so fantastically simple again!

The shortcut to joy is to get active!!!

No matter what your definition of action is, I think it obviously have to include a little bit of risk taking and an elevated heart rate, for us to experience more positive emotions we have to mobilize our bodies and start doing, moving, living!

So tonight I'm going to bed with this crazy grin on my face and I'll start my day tomorrow by taking my own little short cut to joy for the day and hopefully spend the rest of my day in that happy way...

What about you, do you want to take the short cut too?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Ghost Dream

How do you eat an elephant?...

... You start by taking one bite at a time.

A cliche, I know, but it fits so snuggly into this part where it's so hard to find the right amount, weight and quality of words. This part of defining a dream, your dream, the big, crazy, sparkly dream that scares even the chocolate cravings that you had just before bed time right out of your mind!

THAT dream, the one which you choose to ignore, the dream that haunts you every time you celebrate a new year and when you think of it or witness someone enjoying your dream, you experience a twinge of sadness and regret.
THAT dream that catches a glimmer of light and a touch of hope when you watch a great movie that stirs your heart or when you read an inspirational article or email of someone who DID it, who reached and enjoy the part where they achieved. Then when you walk out of the cinema or press delete on the keyboard you just pack it back underneath the cobwebs of "normal" and "important" stuff of life, go on with your everyday walk and try to avoid the hurt that goes along with this unfulfilled ghost of a dream...

To come back to the elephant on the page..

I don't want to have a ghost dream anymore. I want my dream to have life and I want to live in my dream that's not a dream anymore, but my reality, my now, my present and ever growing future.

How do I... How do we start?

By taking one bite, one step at a time.

For the coming days, weeks and months I'm risking my heart and my social credibility to step out on this quest to explore, reach for and achieve my dream. Allow me (and forgive me) to be dead honest and make myself vulnerable about what goes on in my mind, body and heart (spirit) about what goes into the process of making my dream my reality.
I hope and believe that by spending time researching, pondering and wondering I will be able to eventually define my dream for you.

Do you have a ghost dream? Where will you start?